79. Pen lefting in home, yeah?

Previously, I had heard young students saying sentences like these:

He is take outing my book.
She is fall downing and crying.

But I heard a new one today. This is infact not by the students but by a teacher during an examination. He was the designated invigilator and this is what he said to a student who didn’t have a pen.

Pen lefting in home, yeah? Who who boy left.. you boy left the pen, yeah?

This just made my day!
This is what makes Nepali English or Nenglish, I suppose.

20. A Khetala Teacher

A Khetala Teacher. Noun
Origin: public schools of Nepal

khetala: [khe tɑː lɑː] a farm labourer who works on others’ fields, especially in villages; usually gets certain daily wage or works as labour exchange

A government appointed teacher personally assigns (contracts) an unqualified (unemployed) teacher to work in his/her place in a rural pubic school. Meanwhile, the ‘real’ teacher works in other schools (private) or gets into other forms of occupation, even flies abroad – still drawing monthly salary and benefits from the designated public school. Gives a certain cut of the salary to the khetala-teacher, while the ‘real’ teacher enjoys laddu in both hands.

The government of Nepal lacks effective mechanism to monitor such discrepancies in the rural schools. (Plus, head teachers and other teachers are members of political parties and they can’t be touched, literally.)

19. A Helmet Teacher

Helmet Teacher. Noun
Origin: from certain schools in Bhaktapur.

A part-time teacher (sometimes, also a tuition teacher) who practically works in over a dozen schools, scurries from one school to the other, taking one or two periods. To aid him (it’s usually male teachers) in this extraordinary (lucrative) feat, he has a motorbike or a scooter. He rushes to the classroom, habitually forgets to take the helmet off. It does save him some time though, by not taking it off. He is in and out of the school like the superhero Flash. In short, he is a hustler.

Interestingly, a helmet teacher has a better income than the regular full time teachers. And evidently, a helmet teacher suffers from an almost-zero-social-life-disorder.

14. Buy Thesis for Rs. 7500

Yes, you can buy a Thesis work in Nepal.

And, here’s another article which describes the mentality of MEd thesis researchers.
Give me an Easy Topic, Please: My Experience of Supervising Theses

 

Moth Shut Up

*****
Thesis x Thesis x Thesis
Just for Rs 7500
M.A. (English/Economics/Sociology/R.D./Population/Nepali/etc)
M.Ed. and M.B.S. as well
*****

I mean why the hell not, if you can get a thesis done for just Rs 7500.

I took this photo while I was walking around Bagbazaar area, which is famous (rather notorious) for millions of coaching/tuition/study abroad centers. It was pasted right in front of the gates of Padma Kanya College. How fitting !

Nepal’s education system under Tribhuwan University is roughly like this:

Bachelor’s in Arts – 3 years
One exam at the end of each year (First year, Second year and Final year)
You just get registered on one of the TU affiliated colleges, preferably Tri Chandra, Padma Kanya, Min Bhawan, etcs.
Your attendance does not count, which means, you don’t need to show up to the classes.
Attend the yearly exam each year.
Apply for transcripts and certificates…

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04. I’M ISPICHLESS

Mom, your daughter made it !

I’m pheeling assam, toorly ispichless.whyein i wass in iscool, my teachers alwayjh tautt me one theenk success hajh a simple phurmula, do your besht, people may layik ittt,sho I’m here nowu.

This is a rare gem. A worthy candidate for Nepanglish Hall of Fame ! I’m planning to show this video to my students.